Our Solstice Birth Story
I recently asked on Instagram if you guys would like to read about Indigo's birth story and the answer was a clear yes. There is so much beauty and inspiration in sharing and reading those honest birth stories, I certainly enjoyed reading them as I prepared for Indigo to arrive...
For some strange reason I was convinced that she would be born around week #38, as time passed I got more and more desperate to finally meet her, touch her, smell her and see that she really is ok. It goes without saying that the last 3 weeks from then on leading up to week #41 felt like torture to me as if someone flipped the slow motion switch.
Due to having a brother with disabilities, I was kinda freaked out about her wellbeing. Not actually seeing her for 9 months was difficult for me and I knew I needed to make a very conscious effort to stay positive and not attract the exact thing I feared the most! That included keeping my body healthy but also my mind. I wrote 'gratitude' and 'thank you' notes to the universe in my journal throughout the whole pregnancy. Expressing gratitude for my healthy baby, as if it was already a done deal and so it was.
I am glad I did!
It is safe to say that I was going through a three-day laboring process.
Starting on a Monday, I finally had what I thought are the more serious contracting pains and I couldn't help but feel excited and welcomed the pain with open arms, thinking it's finally happening!!
That night we ended up driving to my midwife's house as it is halfway between our home and the birth center where we planned on having her. Much to my disappointment, she ended up sending us back home again as I was really only at 2-3cm at the time. The strange thing is that I had pretty serious crampings at regular intervals but then they would stop completely for a few hours before picking up again...
This game continued throughout Monday and Tuesday, leaving me completely exhausted. Even tho my amazing midwife is quite a hippie and natural birth advocate she ended offering the thought of an epidural to me by Tuesday night, with the idea to give me a few hours of rest before things get serious. Up to that point, an epidural was not on my radar but it seemed to make a lot of sense as I somehow needed to find some strength to carry on, so I agreed to go to the hospital on Tue evening and have it done.
Turns out they were super busy and we had to spend the night hoping to get the epidural done on Wednesday morning, the day passed, my period like cramping got more and more intense and I reached for the gas (did not like that at all btw). Evening came about and I still had no epidural or sleep at all but am now getting into more and more serious labor!
By the time I finally got the epidural I was genuinely grateful and desperate!
At this stage, my body was going for it and there was not much time left for me to rest, however, once I had the epidural - whatever you do, don't move!! - the energy in the room changed again and I was finally able to at least relax for a bit, I felt excited again.
To my positive surprise I was still able to feel the contractions and pushing cues my body was sending, I was worried that the epidural would take this from me.
It was Wednesday - winter solstice - close to midnight by now, things were going smoothly until Indigo's heart rate suddenly went through the roof and we needed to get her out asap. The solution was a ventouse, after a failed first attempt and a third-degree laceration she was pulled out and able to take her first breath on earth, it was magical.
It's true what they say... that in this very moment all the pain and freaking hell ride is forgotten, nothing matters more than feeling that tiny body and beating heart!
Poor Sam felt pretty helpless in the process, watching me being pushed to my absolute inner edge and there was nothing he could do to help other than being there. To our excitement, the doctor asked him to cut the cord tho, which was a really cool experience for him. As I had to get stitched up he got to enjoy some quality skin to skin time with his daughter, such a special bonding time!
Little Indigo Thaleia was born on the longest night of the NZ winter 2017, just after midnight. Super healthy and a total natural at breastfeeding, she weighed 3.54 kg and measured 50cm.
> This is not at all how I anticipated my birth to be, I had dreamed of birthing without painkillers in the water. But thankfully I had been very conscious of my mindset going into this and very aware that things can't be controlled. Being unattached to how the process will unfold is what made it so much easier for me to cope with afterward. We end up being in such a vulnerable state, the last thing you need is beating yourself up or feeling like a failure if things did not go as planned.
Tag and share this post with your pregnant mama friends, they'll appreciate it.